Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
