We're facebook friends in real life
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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