This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She bit a glass in half.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
