i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
