And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
