Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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