he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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