and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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