At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
