Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
