I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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