Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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