Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
