it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
