I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
