Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
