I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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