I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Vodka?
Forever.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think people are normalizing furries
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
