Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
