the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
