whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There's always time for handjobs
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
