Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
