youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
