But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
