No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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