I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
