It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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