remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
