member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
