are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
