apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
