You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
