Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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