hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
