I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
