I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
