It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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