dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
