we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This is classic penis vs brain.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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