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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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