I heard we made out
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
