fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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