therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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