Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
