why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
