I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
