If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
