chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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