plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
