Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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