why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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