she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
